pic from weheartit
I recently read an article that struck a chord with me. It discusses the modern feminist mindset of privilege=well being, particularly in regards to popular literature coined as “priv-lit”. It’s a very interesting read and one that made me examine my own fashion culture.
In online fashion communities, there is a certain self-imposed pressure to maintain a level of involvement by posting pictures decked out in your best attire. It creeps in over time. You start to bring a camera everywhere you go. You obsess over matching your outfit for the occasion. You spend more time and energy into snapping shots rather than being involved in conversation. We feel the need to spend money on our wardrobe, gear and living spaces to reflect our lifestyle, as if these objects make us more legitimate. I think many girls believe that it is a way to connect to the culture and thus a way to connect to themselves, but I’m starting to see how this desire to parade like a peacock can actually hamper true happiness.
It hit me even before I read the article. I noticed how distracted I was on outings with my friends. I realized that I continued to force myself into layers of frills and lace even if it was too hot or too uncomfortable for the place I was going. Later, I would get home and realized that I never felt truly relaxed with my friends or my body was soaked with sweat because of being out all day dressed in all my petticoats. I would scroll through online shops ordering tons of cute stuff to make myself happy. Filling my life with pastel, sparkly goodness. I wanted to deck my entire life in pink satin ribbons, twinkling sugar coated candies and brightly colored carousels. I felt the urge to “keep up”. I felt I had to show my devotion to my lifestyle ideal, even if it meant spending my way to get there in this rough economy.
Due to hard financial times hitting me, I’ve had to suspend my indulgence spending. There are so many pretty things I want out there. But I realized as happy as I know it would make me, it was only a quick fix. I realized I needed to look inside to find my bliss. Joy isn’t found in a brand jumperskirt. It’s found inside. It’s really a shame how many girls there are out there wanting to be involved in the fashion to feel like a princess but can’t because of finances. As if wearing a pretty dress has anything to do with filling your life with beauty. Beauty can be found all around you if you are willing to look for it.
The moment it really hit me was this past weekend when I went to go for my little walk in the woods that I previously posted about. My initial plan was to deck myself in my best mori girl attire and wander the woods looking like a woodland princess. But then I realized that I didn’t want to go to the forest to show off my style. I wanted to climb trees, take a long walk and wade through the stream. Dressing up for such a physically demanding activity was highly impractical. I wasn’t there for a fashion show, I was there to let go and really experience nature. So I opted for jeans and a shirt. Simple and practical. At one point I crossed paths with two deer. My instinct was to draw out my camera, but I stopped. Doing so would likely frighten them away. I wanted to enjoy the moment. I have my memory. I didn’t need the picture. So I stopped and just watched them. It was beautiful. I was in the moment.
I think in the hard times we are facing, we need to remind ourselves that our purse and attire should not determine our happiness. If you want to indulge in your inner princess or forest faerie, there are ways to do it without spending money. Examine the little things that often get ignored. Don’t force yourself to worry about looking perfect for every single time you go out. Let yourself go and just enjoy the moment.
Here are some tips for how to still feel connected to your inner princess without the distraction of money and apparel.
* Take a walk in the forest and read under a tree.
* Spend a day lounging on the couch watching your favorite movies.
* Bake and decorate cute desserts for friends and family.
* Take up a craft like knitting or jewelry making and make yourself something nice.
* Invite a friend over for a casual cup of tea and catch up.
* Wander your neighborhood and observe your environment with a careful and open eye.
* Perform a sock puppet show for a loved one.
* Print out a star guide and take a night out to find different stars and constellations.
* Look into volunteering for a day at a local charity or hospital.
* Visit a local museum, art gallery or zoo.
* Organize a scavenger hunt with friends.
* Collect seashells on a local beach.
* Start keeping a pressed flower book with notes about where you found the flowers.
Sometimes taking the time to do low-key, casual activities without the pressure of dressing up, can be a much needed relief. It helps us appreciate the little things in life and reminds us to take a step back and feel connected. You don’t have to be dressed up to prove your commitment to your favored fashion or yourself. Just be committed to appreciate life one day at a time.
